Many of us are struggling with global events; we’re processing wars, terrorism, global injustice and ecological destruction on a daily basis.
Added to that, our smartphones feed us a constant stream of updates, keeping us in a heightened state of alert and anxiety.
Our children are also drawn into this.
How can we as parents:
1. limit our children’s exposure to damaging news content?
2. honour their questions and their right to know more, being truthful while protecting them from anxiety and distress?
Drawing on guidance from trusted children’s charities UNICEF and Save The Children, here are some basic ways you can be truthful yet remain age-appropriate and reassuring.
What sources of news can I use?
1. Take your cue from your child’s questions and natural interest; don’t impose your own concerns on him.
2. Be aware that your child may hear news from a range of sources; the playground, social media, tv etc. Direct her to reliable, non-alarmist sources such as UNICEF, the UN or the First News https://www.firstnews.co.uk/about-first-news/
3. With your child, piece together the context and facts around a news story; where, who, why and how.
4. Avoid having a steady stream of news playing all day in your home, such as the radio or tv news. This could overwhelm your child.
5. Reduce the chances of your child seeing extreme content by adding robust filters to your child’s social media accounts. Better still, block all social media from all your child’s devices; most children first stumble across extreme content without having searched for it.
Should I give my opinion?
1. Attempt to answer your child’s questions factually; don’t be afraid to say you don’t know.
2. There’s no need for you or your child to adopt a clear stance or to draw a moral truth from a news story.
Just discussing the facts calmly may be enough.
Empathy vs. overwhelm
1. Empathy and compassion are healthy responses to foster in your child; this can be done for both ‘sides’ in a war, or for anyone at all who is suffering.
2. Neutrality is good to aim for; a firm position can stunt thinking.
Neutrality may also help your child not to identify obsessively with one cause or one set of victims. Avoid labelling anyone as ‘evil’ or ‘bad’; this can create deep anxiety in a child.
3. It’s fine for you to show you are sad / confused too but remember many children take their emotional cue from parents; be sure to model a calm, thoughtful response.
Reassure with the positives
1. Focus on the good: what aid organisations and individuals are doing / can do to help; famine relief, medical aid, international financial aid, the emergency services.
2. Talk about how your child is safe and (probably) far away from the distressing news story. Pledge to take excellent care of him / her always.
3. Teach calming relaxation techniques (e.g. belly breathing) if your child has a strong reaction to a news item, while being aware that strong reactions may go underground and manifest as tummy aches or social withdrawal.
4. Give opportunities for your child to respond to a complex news story through art or role-play with Lego figures, dolls, etc. For some children, talk alone may not be calming and they will appreciate another outlet.
When’s the best time to talk?
1. The timing of this kind of talk is crucial. It’s most productive over a calm family dinner or an uplifting walk, on a day everyone is feeling well and clear-headed.
2. Avoid news stories at bedtime or when your child is distressed or sad about other things in their life.
3. If your child raises a topic during a busy moment, or when one of you is feeling low, give her a time later to discuss things, and honour this arrangement.
How long do I follow a news story with my child?
If you’ve opened dialogue on a news item, you can follow it together as the story develops, for as long as your child remains interested. Phase out your talks once your child stops asking questions.
General approach by age
Ages 3-5 Reassure
Keep talk very simple and brief, focusing on reassurance. Give comforting words such as, ‘Some people far away are having a difficult time. Lots of kind people and helping them. And we are safe over here.’
Ages 6-11 Tell the story simply and truthfully
Give more context. Limit details of violence or suffering. Talk about values like empathy, fairness, and helping others. Encourage questions. Check what your child knows by inviting them to explain what they’ve heard in their own words.
Ages 12+ Invite critical thinking
More nuanced conversations are possible now. Teens might follow detailed reports on social media; fact-check together. Discuss causes and effects: the historical context, different perspectives, possible solutions. Honour your child’s strong emotions. Propose constructive ways to channel their views and feelings; in peaceful protest, raising awareness in others, writing articles for a public platform.
Audrey Reeder
